Life Untouched

I haven't posted for a few days, so here goes. Something relevant (for me, anyways). Bear with me, I don't know where I'm going with this.

For the past few days I've been online every chance I get. Today I spent the entire day online. I'm not kidding. Since I woke up at 10am until now, I've been online. I ate exactly 2 cookies and a sandwich. I don't seem to have an appetite when I'm zombified by the warm glowing screen in front of me, lulled by the gentle tapping of the keyboard and melodies from my favorite songs. It's too easy to be hypnotized by sleek, comforting computers and the beckoning web pages and emails waiting to be read on the internet.

What's scary is that there are tons of sites that offer a social life. If you were really looking to get social, shouldn't the internet be the last place to look? It's a good resource to keep in touch with friends, but to make new ones? I suppose it is possible...sort of like having a pen pal, but as I play GaiaOnline I find that it can be creepy when people want to have a girlfriend or boyfriend with someone they never met. I find it impossible. It just...doesn't work. And I believe, I hope, that it is usually just a role playing game on such massive multiplayers. But what about other sites that are serious about matching up strangers looking for love? People, do it the natural, real way: in person. Take a tip from the prairie dogs and their social networking.

The internet is the ultimate tool in remaking yourself to be who you want to be in the other person's eyes. Let's admit it: we don't always act like ourselves on a first date. But at least we actually meet the person on a date. We want to present the best of ourselves and leave the little details of our flaws behind, if just to impress someone for a couple of dates, until those flaws eventually catch up. However, with instant messaging, online dating services, and games like GaiaOnline you can take your own image and morph it in any way you want. You could be misleading, or you could be blatantly honest since in either case you can reason that they are just strangers you are talking to, the kind you will probably never see; but either way, should you present this perfect you and expect to have a real relationship? Or bear your soul to a stranger on the monitor and expect the same in return? Besides the truth, what about an emotional or physical connection? The internet dashes it all away. Yes, someone can tell you that they are sad or happy or otherwise, but how can you know and why would you care if you are not there with them reading the expression on their face? And forget about hugs. The internet provides no way for physical contact.

Nothing can replace the human touch. Human touch is an important, integral part of human life. Why is it that there are so many rules against inappropriate touching? Because touch makes such a huge impact on us, which is why we need appropriate touching all the more. Everyone needs a hug once in a while. I mean it.

Of course, I don't mean that all relationships made online are contrived. I just hope that, every once in a while, such people take a step back from the screen, look at their pale tan from it's glow, and wonder when the last time they had real contact with their friends. Every time I do this, a wave of sadness rushes over me, because I miss my friends. At college, I wouldn't spend all my time online. I wouldn't forget to eat. I would have friends to remind me of everything I could be doing. I don't have that luxury at home. All I have is the nagging in the back of my mind, reminding me of what failure this summer promises to be. No job. A calculus class I'll probably fail like the rest of my classes. Little to no contact with friends busy with their productive lives. And now there is a pain in my tummy; I can't decide if it's from lack of food or lack of love, it's just that...sometimes...a *hug* on instant messenger is not enough.